I learned how to love the word “no” years ago when I was a sales person. I admit it took a little practice. The old me cringed every time a potential customer said “no.” I took it personally – that the person did not like something about me.
At a coaching conference I heard a speaker say that “no” was just another word like peanut butter or jelly. Now, I’ve never been a fan of either peanut butter or jelly, but I listened to the meaning behind what the speaker said and something clicked. It made sense. There are so many possibilities behind the “no” response. My listening changed. I started to listen for and hear the many different messages behind “no.” My world opened up – so did my sales results! Continue reading
“Habit is the hell to which people cling in an attempt to stop the flow of change.”
Did you ever catch yourself doing something and for a fleeting moment think about why you were doing it?
Habits are part of the invisible domain of living. They invade our actions and our speech – things that we do and the words we say without thinking. I think of it as human auto-pilot. Here is a speech example. How often do you hear someone say the word “like” or “you know” when they are talking to you? Do you think the person hears it?
“You are the first organization you must master.”
Remember the fight or flight instincts that kept our ancestors alive? It is still inside us! Our body sends us signals all the time. That feeling we get when we meet someone who makes us feel uncomfortable. The question we all must ask ourselves is how well are we listening.
I want to talk about how our body does or does not support the actions we take and those we want to take. Think about this for a moment. When the hairs on the back of our neck stand up, it’s a signal.
Last year I broke my ankle – okay shattered might be more descriptive – like fragments of glass. I’ve now got plates and screws. I bring this up because my habitual way of moving had to change. During the first month I could not walk at all as I had also badly sprained the other ankle. I was a mess! Continue reading
“The right conversation in the wrong mood, is the wrong conversation.”
Okay – this post is designed around the workplace, but can easily be applied to conversations you have with your loved ones, at volunteer meetings, anywhere where conversations take place.
You have been in a meeting all morning. It’s the same meeting you attended last week, the week before that, and perhaps for many weeks. While its intended purpose is both updating department progress and planning future projects, you begin to wonder how the interactions you are witnessing are serving the stated purpose. People are talking at one another, over one another, sniping and ego building. There does not seem to be a lot of listening going on. Kim just shared the same idea Stuart shared two hours ago and they loved it. Two hours ago, Mark derided and criticized it and gave a litany of reasons why it would not work. Your inner soul screams – Get me out of here! Continue reading