Learn to Love ”No”

ID-100264421I learned how to love the word “no” years ago when I was a sales person. I admit it took a little practice. The old me cringed every time a potential customer said “no.” I took it personally – that the person did not like something about me.

At a coaching conference I heard a speaker say that “no” was just another word like peanut butter or jelly. Now, I’ve never been a fan of either peanut butter or jelly, but I listened to the meaning behind what the speaker said and something clicked. It made sense. There are so many possibilities behind the “no” response. My listening changed. I started to listen for and hear the many different messages behind “no.” My world opened up – so did my sales results! Continue reading

Do You Ever Feel Invisible? Strengthen Your Relationships

You are at a social gathering and friends are talking about recent travels. You say you recently did a trip to Ukraine. Considering Ukraine has been in the news lately, you ID-100172286would think people would be interested in your impressions. But no, no one says word one. The conversation continues around you, like you were not even there.

You are at a staff meeting. You make a suggestion about how to handle an upcoming event. There are courteous nods from your peers and the meeting continues. Ten minutes later a colleague makes the same suggestion which is received with praise as if he/she just saved the world.

You are talking to your husband, wife, friend. Instead of connecting with you, making eye contact with you, the person is playing with his/her phone, tablet, scrolling through messages.

What’s going on? Continue reading

Do You Live in Habit Hell?

“Habit is the hell to which people cling in an attempt to stop the flow of change.”
Carolyn Myss

ID-100153370Did you ever catch yourself doing something and for a fleeting moment think about why you were doing it?

Habits are part of the invisible domain of living. They invade our actions and our speech – things that we do and the words we say without thinking. I think of it as human auto-pilot. Here is a speech example. How often do you hear someone say the word “like” or “you know” when they are talking to you? Do you think the person hears it?

Continue reading

3 Mah Jongg Life Lessons

image001I just finished teaching a mah jongg strategy class. There were 12 eager ladies, each wanting to improve her game. After the class I thought about the strategies I shared. What I recognized was that there were life lessons embedded within each one.

Here are three main points I presented and my thoughts on how each one connects to broader issues in our daily lives. See what you think.

1. You can’t play every hand on the card.

There are 59 possible hands on the 2014 card. The idea is to rack the tiles you get dealt and then scan the card trying to find possible hands to go for. Many players get stuck here – not knowing what to pass during the charleston. Continue reading

My Plate’s Too Full: Avoiding Emotional Triggers

Yikes! I took a look at all I had to do this week and screamed. I’m retired. I’m suppose to have all this free time to run, jump and play. To sit on my porch, get mentally lost watching the ripples in my pond and write an exciting chapter for my next mystery/romance novel.ID-100236677

But there I was. With a full plate of “have-to’s.” No time to write.  What I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. What is wrong with this picture?

I’m sure many of you connect to what I’m saying. Okay – maybe not the retirement part. We all are very busy with full plates of obligations; things we have to do for work, family, friends, or our community. What’s a person to do? Continue reading